THE STRANGER IN MY HOME
  • Home
  • Vignettes
    • Encounters
    • Events
    • Experiences
    • Epiphanies
  • Stories
  • Fables
  • Translations
  • Miscellany
  • Now/Then

now  /  then

blogs and blends

the outlier

6/22/2015

1 Comment

 
A visiting professor at De La Salle University in the Philippines in the late eighties, I invited the students home for a party every Wednesday after class. The students were working executives attending evening classes, so the parties gave me the opportunity to know them better. This had a practical angle, for I was teaching Organizational Behavior, and the better I knew their problems the better I could address them in the class.

But it had also a personal angle. I believed in knowing and understanding my students, so that, besides meeting their intellectual curiosities, I could genuinely help and support them and provide some guidance. A few of the students, who kept in touch with me later, did indeed say that I seemed like a caring mentor.

What I remember, however, is the time I failed. Roel Caniza wasn’t easily noticed; he was effortlessly self-effacing. He didn’t speak often. When classwork required him to, he spoke briefly as if observing an inviolable limit on his airtime. It was the unfailing cogency of his comments that made me pay attention. It was also what made me go out of my way to invite him to an after-class party at my home. I doubt he would have joined otherwise.

Once in the party, he impressed me with his social skills. He immediately made himself useful. He served the hors d’oeuvres the cook brought in, helped with the drinks very competently, and circulated gracefully among his classmates. He never talked or smiled much, but there was no mistaking his faultless role as a partygoer. With his good looks and neatly pressed clothes, he could have passed as a true party animal except for one thing: he quietly maintained a boundary around him and did not really belong.
Lonely man, outlier
My wife, who came in briefly at these parties, happened to sit next to Roel and was struck by his charm and intelligence. She told me that he was a wonderful conversationalist but seemed guarded in talking about himself. She had gathered only that his parents lived apart – a common practice in a Catholic land where divorce was not on the books – and he had little to do with them or other relatives, but lived alone in a city apartment close to his work.

Since he didn’t turn up in the next two parties, I made it a point to invite him to the third. He came readily and reverted to his role as the perfect partygoer who helped with everything and looked after other guests. I asked him to join me at the bar, ostensibly to get his assistance with some chore, and engaged in a private chat. Did he enjoy the course? Was it a burden, in addition to his work, or was the university a pleasant educational and social experience for him? Since he lived alone, did he feel lonely or did he enjoy being on his own?

Roel had realized by now that I was interested in him. He seemed to lower his guard and spoke with unwonted candor. He said he did not like living alone, but he was hoping to get used to it. He missed his siblings; he couldn’t be in touch with them because his parents did not want it. His work earned him a living, but it was undemanding and meant little to him. He would like to have friends, but he didn’t have any. I told Roel that I would like to stay in touch with him and that he was welcome any time the students came to my home.

The next week Roel was not in the class. I asked two of the students, but they did not know why he hadn’t come.

The following week the students came to my house for another after-class party. Where was Roel? When I asked the students, one took me aside and told me that Roel had hung himself in his apartment the previous night.

Did he say anything to anybody? Did he leave behind a note?

Characteristically, Roel had left a two-sentence letter thanking his friends and well-wishers. He gave no reason for his decision.   ​
1 Comment
Cristina Gonzales
6/25/2015 18:31:15

Outlier

The first part of the story is intriguing, but the part that describes Roel's character and mystery is very short that the reader does not have enough source of imagination and basis for analyzing what made him end his life. I like the story, The Man who Ran, because it is full of interesting descriptions of the intimacy of the father and daughter relationship. I like the way the writer describes the complexities of the father's feelings, especially towards his daughter.

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    Manish Nandy

    Writer, Speaker, Consultant
    Earlier: Diplomat, Executive


    Archives

    January 2022
    December 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015

    RSS Feed


    Categories

    All

Proudly powered by Weebly
© Manish Nandy 2015  The Stranger in My Home