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How People Change

6/25/2018

2 Comments

 
Raj called to say he would see me on Saturday.
 
He lived in New Delhi but was visiting his daughter in Boston and planned to come to Washington for a tour.
 
He arrived in the Dulles Airport and I picked him up from the airport lounge, since I lived close by. We spent a leisurely morning over coffee and croissant.
 
Raj was in college with me in Kolkata. He was a short, quiet person, usually by himself. I saw him in the students’ lounge, mulling something on a chess board, and asked if I could join him for a match. We played two or three times. He sat with a fiercely resolute look and beat me easily each time. When I complimented him on his skill, he brushed it aside, saying he had got it from his brother, who was the true master.
 
We lived in a large apartment close to the college and my parents encouraged me to bring friends to home. Possibly they wanted to know what kind of friends I was spending time with. I invited both Raj and his brother. When they came, Raj was his usual reticent self, but his brother spoke a lot, mostly about chess, both to mother, serving tea, and me. But we both liked Raj more, his diffident personality and quiet way of acknowledging hospitality.
Picture
Raj took an inordinate interest in my father’s library. That pleased me, because books were an important part of my life. Unlike many of my friends, who read books only because they had to or were told to, I read books for fun. They represented a world of imagination and adventure.
 
Raj and I found a wide area of discussion. We talked about books we had read, endlessly and with enthusiasm. In fact, when he mentioned a book he was reading, I started reading the same book so that we could discuss it in depth. It turned out to be a very good idea, for I discovered that Raj had a very different perspective from mine. For instance, when we both undertook to read The Brothers Karamazov, my interest focused on the fiery Dmitri and the gentle Alexei, the eldest and youngest brothers, where Raj obsessed about Ivan and his struggle to reconcile unjust suffering with a benign God. Later, we both read Nabokov’s classic Lolita, and while I was quite swept by Humbert’s lust for a nymphet, Raj wondered a lot about Dolores’s reaction and Quilty’s quick, crazy intervention.
 
I felt I learned quite a bit from Raj, because I realized that literature, like life, can be seen from different angles. All the angles may not all be equally valid, but they tell us how rich the tapestry of life is.

Picture
​We would take long walks together, in Kolkata’s serpentine streets, avoiding vendors for whose wares none of us had money, rapt in our talk about imagined people, their joys and miseries, and the fanciful events that intertwined their lives. We talked so earnestly that people overhearing us might believe that we were discussing real people who made a great difference in our lives. In a sense, it made a great difference in our life indeed, for we were not only gaining an insight into great literature, we were also exploring, through each other’s eyes, life itself.
 
I so loved and cherished our walks that I often came back home and told mother of our chat and what new things I had discovered. When Raj came next to our home, mother would narrate my pleasure of discovery while serving him tea and biscuits, and Raj endeared himself by invariably saying modestly that he had only read an interesting book and briefly commented on it. I was the person that had gleaned the real message of the book. That was Raj’s style, an easy modesty coupled with a pleasant way of passing the credit to me.
 
After college our paths diverged, for he went to another town. Occasionally we talked on the phone, before I went abroad and became enmeshed in overseas travel.
 
When I went to pick him up at the airport, we had not met for decades.
 
We had some difficulty identifying each other but we gladly embraced, and I took him home. I felt genuinely thrilled to have been discovered by an old friend, who had traveled long to see me. 

Picture
I was happy to see him trim and sprightly, looking younger than his age. He spoke of his happiness to see his daughter and his admiration for the charm of Boston. He had clearly retained an active and receptive mind, however quiet his demeanor. His placidity was almost reassuring, for it meant that in some fundamental way he had retained something of his old self. I poured some tea for us both. Our conversation was warm and hearty.
 
Then, at last, after we had gone over our recent history, talked about our families and exchanged news of old friends, I came to what had initially bound us together. I had been looking forward to hearing what he has been reading and what new ideas he could surprise me with.
 
I asked, “Raj, you were such avid reader. Always exploring new authors and ideas. Tell me, what have you been reading recently?”
 
Came the stunning reply, “I just read the day’s newspaper. I don’t have the time for books.”
 
Clearly, people do change.

2 Comments
Satyakam Ojha
6/26/2018 23:19:48

Was a relief that unlike Ray's narration of childhood friendship in his short story 'class friend' yours is more reassuring and makes one repose confidence in the continuity of eternal relationships

Reply
Manish
6/27/2018 00:06:33

Thank you for your interesting comment, Satyakam.

Reply



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    Manish Nandy

    Writer, Speaker, Consultant
    Earlier: Diplomat, Executive


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